I’m home. And, I’ve cancelled my trip to San Antonio/Austin. I’m done travelling until October, actually – unless I get a wild hair to go to New York next month, but I doubt I will at this point.
Ok, so the points I wanted to expound on yesterday and a few more:
1. Niagara Falls was totally fun. Loved the Maid of the Mist, really enjoyed getting to hear/see/even somewhat taste the falls (no, I did not drink the water, the mist was everywhere). Got some gorgeous pictures to post. It was interesting the gap between the American side and the Canadian side – never fails to amaze me. The Canadian side was gorgeous, well-manicured, and very much a beautiful place to experience. The lines were long for the Maid of the Mist on that side, though. The American side was not beautiful, not well-laid out, but no lines. We went to the American side to ride the Mist. Had lunch at Tu Tu Tango – very hip little art cafe in Canada. Great food, good sangria and a waiter that looked a lot like Vin Diesel. I’d say it was a roaring success.
2. The Glass Gallery. There’s this place just downwind from the IMAX theatre where they blow glass. We went in. I was looking for a glass guitar for my brother and the manager spotted us and came over. The guy launched into the cheesiest pick-up SAGA (because it FAR exceeded a pick-up line) that I had ever heard. Obviously, the guy has no clue that I’m impervious to such things because, in all actuality, I have no heart. (lol) Anyway, I’m listening to the guy ramble on and on about how I remind him of some mediterranean chick with all the usual (very sexy, beautiful, mysterious – yada, yada brain is off thinking about other things because, really, we don’t believe it when a stranger says that stuff, anyway) junk when he finally says something that snaps me back into attention: “My philosophy in life is if it feels good, it must be good – so, do it.. even if it’s bad, if it feels good, it is…”
Ok, I am so attuned to what he’s really getting at here, but the concept is intruiging and worth expounding on. So, I do: “What if everyone thought that way?” Of course, he launches into some wierd diatribe about American Husbands, which was not an answer, so I retreat back into myself and ponder this one a bit. What if we all followed that theory? The world would go to hell in a handbasket faster than I could write this novella, that’s what would happen. Rules exist for a reason – they’re not bad. They protect us, perpetuate us, drive us, challenge us – to just live off feelings makes us completely willy-nilly and totally selfish. Anyway, Marciello, or Marishino or whatever his name was (seemed like a Guido to me, you’d have to ask Jackie what his name ACTUALLY is, she’d remember) was left at that point. I just walked off and left him with Brooke. Couldn’t stomach any more. Guys really need to get it through their head that the best pick up line is a simple “Hello. I’m So-and-So and you know, you seem interesting (insert intruiging, exciting, or some other such adjective that doesn’t involve pure asthetics) and I’d like to get to know you better…” is the best way to go.
3. Being Spanish – I found it interesting that the guy brought up that I looked European – I’ve had a lot of people say that I look Spanish now that my hair is back to it’s natural darkness. I’m the whitest white person I know – so don’t get that, but it’s fun to hear!
4. I want to start a Tu Tus Cafe here with music, as well – open mics or something. I think that’d be well received. It was very chic, this place – everything on the walls was available for purchase and the food was served on painter’s palettes. Very eclectic.
5. My cameras – both the one on the phone and my Kodak – take really great pictures. My phone has a sport setting that takes a set of 9 pictures every time it’s pressed… was very cool. I have some great pictures to put up here over the next couple of days… including one where I’m kissing a frog – what the hell happened to my prince? I feel ripped off. 🙂
6. I’ve been Hooked on the Happy Bunny lately. Really want to send the one out that says “I gave you crabs.” However, that’d be blanketly untrue (not even really sure what they are) and really cruel – plus, I think you actually have to have sex with people enough to GET crabs to be able to give them. Doesn’t really sound like a fun present, though – still, that one cracks me up in a twisted, disgusting way every time I see it. However, I think that I need a “Happy Bunny says, ‘I should always be single.'” I’m not sure I’m cut out for relationships – there’s so much drama to it! And, it seems like noone can really play straight. Looking back, even I found myself adjusting to what I THOUGHT I needed to portray; not changing who I was, exactly.. but, holding back who I am in order to maintain the order of what I thought needed to be. It’s exhausting. And, I’m just having to wonder if that’s really a good thing to involve myself in again… because, in reality…
7. … there’s the frog and the prince. The deal is, it’s the same guy. The question is, who shows up first? Does the “frog side” of the personality show up when you’re dating and like wine, the guy gets better over time? When the ackwardness wears off and you get comfortable, does he get better and “the prince” shows up? Or, does the “prince side” show up first and you get swept off your feet by this totally together, charming man to find out that he’s in reality a very messy, wart-covered “frog?” If you could guarantee me that the frog would show up first, I’d be there. Then, I know what I’m dealing with on his worst day up front. The problem is, there’s no real way to know until you’ve handed your heart over to someone. That seems very dangerous.
8. So, the topic of conversation rolls around to Dating Vs. DATING. I realize that I have a different definition of “dating” than most people. To me, “dating someone” is when you go out on a semi-regular to regular basis, but there’s no singular relationship. By that, I mean that there’s no commitment to one another, you’re not exclusive and so chances are, you’re dating other people, too. I think you should only have sex with one of those people, but then again, that’s just me and I don’t like having multiple partners over one span of time. Never have, never will. Then, there’s DATING – where you’re seeing one person regularly and you’re just seeing that person. Maybe not boyfriendgirlfriend status yet, but working towards it, I guess. I’ve always done the former. I go out, I have a good time, and we each go to our seperate homes. They pay sometimes, I pay others. And, typically, I’ve gone out with 2 to 6 different guys over one span of time – we’re just getting to know each other, you see. It’s really just recently that the idea of DATING became acceptable to me… but, you still have to find the person you want to DATE. How do you do that? Do you do it one at a time, or do my version of dating until you find one that you want to DATE?
Men seem to have very different and finite ideas on this. It really seems to have insulted one guy I went out over the course of a month or two not too long ago, that I was seeing other guys while I was seeing him. Now, forget the fact that his ex-girlfriend was still consistently in the picture for what appears to be every moment I wasn’t with him (though that does seem slightly hypocritical); he knew going in he was one of three men that I had been talking to. Did he think the other two went away when I accepted a dinner invitation with him? And, should that be the way it should be? I’m not really sure… Other guys I know don’t care, because they do it too… I guess this was really #10, I skipped 8 and 9 – don’t want to deal with those right now.
There’s still more to write, but I’m tired. I’m so glad to be home… but, the house feels really empty right now and there’s really noone to call… I guess I’ll go sleep. CM