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I'm just a girl in the world.. that kind of likes to write. Mom of 2 teen girls & work as Talent Attraction & Marketing professional. Oh, & I'm addicted to my phone, Social Media, HR/Talent Marketing & Caffeine... you can learn more about me at www.linkedin.com/in/theonecrystal

Myspace Migration: So, here it is… Week 2 of POF and other stuff about Men

Emails: 402

New guys conversing with: a couple of interesting ones and a couple of crazies and one or two that are just plain sad

This has been a really hectic week with POF. There was a guy that I was talking to, but now I’m not. He really kind of creeped me out – too mushy, too fast. Started out really nice and normal, but … yeah. Not so much.

Next we’re going to move onto the guy who tried to guilt-trip me into communication by giving me a hard time because I didn’t respond to his very tempting original email of “You’re pretty; I didn’t read your profile.” Now, really, what girl wouldn’t want to respond to that??? So, after a few days, he sends another pulitzer prize winner of ‘Never Mind.’ What the hell?! So, I ask him what exactly he was trying to aim at there. I’m going to share his response, and mine back…

His Response: “thought you was nice looking,i firgured a thank you would be your responce.thats where real beauty is inside a person.even if you wasnt interested you could have said something.dont feel bad 90 percent of the women in here dont respond.such shallow women.i know i am fat and even ugly.i am still human.”

My response back: Ok, there are some serious self-esteem issues. The reason I didn’t respond was:

a) your whole message was incredibly shallow (speaking of such). You even SAID you didn’t read my profile – so, what exactly would make me want to contact you?

b) when I actually took the time to go look at your profile (again, a courtesy you didn’t even bother to afford me) there was NOTHING about you. At all. Not exactly a big motivator to send a message. Your appearance had absolutely nothing to do with it.

c) Not that I think I’m all that, because I’m certainly not, but even still – I’ve received over 400 messages in the last two weeks. While I wish I could respond to everyone, I can’t. I don’t have time – I can’t even respond to everyone who has a genuine interest in ME, rather than just my ‘good looking’ exterior, as you put it… the only reason I even responded was to kind of make a point that it was a really dumb email to send… it reeks of insecurity, which even if you do get the desired response of an email back, it’s not going to be one that you really want .. it’s going to be a ‘what the heck?’ kind of a thing.

I don’t feel bad about not responding – that’s like saying you’re obligated to talk to a telemarketer simply because you had a phone… I didn’t ask you to write me. You took a chance, and that’s admirable, I guess… but it doesn’t obligate me to a response. The people who are interested in pursuing you further? In returning your initial interest? Will respond back. Those who aren’t and therefore don’t? Are not necessarily shallow – they’re just not interested. Hopefully there is something in this you can glean from and make adjustments to your tactics accordingly, so that you can have more success with someone else in the future. Good day.

So…. am I wrong? Are you obligated to a response simply because someone writes to you? And yes, I do know I kinda went overboard with the response, but I had a headache, which made me a little grumpy… :/ Anyway…
Speaking of, I received another email from an old boyfriend. Think like .. high school old. He got my number several months ago after his cop buddy looked it up – we’re just not going to touch that right now. LOL Anyway, he has mentioned a time or two that he would be interested in getting to know me… on a more romantic level. We’re not on the same page – we’re really not in the same place in life and I’m just not a girl anymore – I’m looking for something a little more… realistic? I don’t know… Anyway, so I get another declarative email on Saturday. This wouldn’t be any kind of a deal excepting for two things: 1) I’ve pretty solidly rebuffed those kinds of advances, in a friendly way; and 2) I’m pretty sure he has been dating someone on my friends list?? Not that it’s necessarily serious, or that I really care, but I have to ask… is it cool to do that? I mean, it’s not like I have 700 friends or anything like that.. I kinda know the person he has been ‘talking with.’ It’s .. awkward to know that and then get another email from him AFTER talking briefly with her about him. But again, maybe it’s just me? Is it wierd, or socially acceptable, for an old boyfriend to kind of date someone on your Myspace Friends list while potentially trying to date you??
I think that’s all – just writing that out kinda made my temple throb again! Might be time to go find some Excedrin.

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