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I'm just a girl in the world.. that kind of likes to write. Mom of 2 teen girls & work as Talent Attraction & Marketing professional. Oh, & I'm addicted to my phone, Social Media, HR/Talent Marketing & Caffeine... you can learn more about me at www.linkedin.com/in/theonecrystal

I Said MISC, Not Milf!

I had a bunch of random stuff that I wanted to address, but I don’t think any one concept is long enough to address in a blog… so, welcome to my miscellaneous blog!

First thing I want to hit on is the term MILF. I was actually ‘hit on’ with this term earlier this week. Maybe I’m a little misguided, but this does not seem like a compliment to me. In fact, I can’t help but have a little bit of an ‘ewww’ factor when I hear that term; most especially when it’s slung my direction. Why? Because I -AM- a Mom. Maybe it’s just me, but it flirts with a pedophilic feeling when used by someone no longer in high school, talking about their buddies’ Moms. The guy that used it with me? A surgeon. Who’s 41 years old – definitely NOT still in high school. First time he said it, I tried gracefully avoiding it after shuddering a little inside. Second time he said it? I asked him why he thought that was complimentary (in true Crystal style) – his answer? “You know, because most Moms are frumpy – and you are definitely not frumpy.”

Ha.haha.hahaha – I’m probably frumpier than my personna lets on; but, still – I don’t think most Moms are frumpy, either. In fact, some of the out-and-out most ‘out there’ personalities I know belong to Moms. We’re not just June Cleaver anymore; we’re Executives, we’re part of the X and Y generations – we love Shoes, great make-up, and good times. We WANT to enjoy all of our life; not just one facet of it. So, no, we really don’t look all that frumpy (not that I mind the pearls look, either); but I still don’t want to sleep with someone that’s looking at me though the ‘Mom filter’ unless it happens to be the Father of my children. And since we divorced 5 years ago, that ship has sailed and sank, too!

Picking up from the text messaging blog a few back; I really DON’T like texting. I have learned this about myself – I mean, I knew it wasn’t one of my favorite things – but, I have learned that I will not, am not, going to be put in a position where it’s my primary vehicle for communication with anyone. Especially not a guy. It’s a lame-duck way of having a conversation. Besides, there’s something very intruiging about a man that can captivate my attention with a well-worded, well thought-out conversation. So, that might become something that gets thrown on my ‘warning flare’ lists for guys that I am talking to or dating. Texts? Are fun, flirty and absolutely ok when you can’t talk on the phone. Or need directions, or to inform someone you’re running late. Outside of that, I don’t think they have any place with me.

So, I think maybe playing darts might become one of my typical ‘get-to-know-a-guy’ routine. I mean, it’s fun to do with friends, too – but there are definitely things that you can reveal about a guy when you’re playing darts. Especially when you’re a bad dart thrower like I am. 🙂 I’ve done this with a couple of guys now and really, it’s interesting to see the differences in behavior. With one guy, he was very gentlemanly picking up the darts that landed on the floor (and above the dartboard, and in the chalkboard, etc). The other? Laughed as I went and got them. Not a big deal (had you seen my throws, you’d have laughed, too), and certainly not something I’d stop seeing anyone over; but the guy that went and got them for me definitely got bonus points. One guy was competitive with me, while the other might have taken a little pitty on me and helped me position and aim. Can you say yummy close-up moment?? My throw still blew, but his cologne smelled fantastic! LOL

Anyway, I think it’s a good activity that can reveal gentlemanly behaviors and can allow for some easy comparisons. But, here’s the thing: does it set up a wierd sense of deja vu (or something like that) if you do? I mean, you want to be fully present in whatever activity you’re engaging in, including dating. So, if you’re doing the same thing (or perhaps worse yet, at the same place) with one persona as you did with another… can you really BE fully present?

That’s enough for now – I’m working on something else that I might put up later; but, for now, it’s Saturday Morning baby! I’m off to workout, get my nails done, hair cut – good times! Must look cute tonight. 😉 Oh, should be testing out a set of golf clubs today, too – driving ranges everywhere, beware!

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