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I'm just a girl in the world.. that kind of likes to write. Mom of 2 teen girls & work as Talent Attraction & Marketing professional. Oh, & I'm addicted to my phone, Social Media, HR/Talent Marketing & Caffeine... you can learn more about me at www.linkedin.com/in/theonecrystal

Love is in the Air…

Why? Because it’s Valentine’s Day weekend, of course. Not going to lie, I’m somewhat ‘out’ on Valentine’s Day… the damage potential ranks right up there with the Christmas Holiday season and D-day (1). It’s just not my thing; a lot of massively unrealistic expectations seem to be pent up in this holiday. I think I read somewhere it’s a “Romance Death Trap” – I completely agree for the following reasons:

1. Firstly, it’s forced. If it wasn’t 2/14, would whatever’s being done for you still be happening?? If the answer’s “No” – then it kind of loses meaning (to me). I’m more excited about the person that pays attention and does thoughtful things for you the other 362 days a year.(2)

2. This is yet another holiday where if you don’t have really honest, good communication in your relationship? You’re likely to be headed for a major let-down due to differences in your expectations. He’s thinking “dinner & a movie”… She’s thinking “romantic mini-break.” She’s thinking “I really liked that diamond toe-ring” and he’s planning on getting those pajama jeans, thinking he’s a genius since he’s heard so many complaints about how snug hers have been lately. BAD situation.

 

3. It’s a total chick holiday. How many guys do you know are super jazzed about Valentine’s Day? It just doesn’t seem to be a fave of many men… in fact, I’ve only known one and he? Was not straight. Which is fine, but let’s face it… this holiday is NOT guy-centric or remotely balanced. What do you see touted? Jewelry, Chocolate, Flowers… chick stuff. A long time ago, I heard that Valentine’s Day was the prepayment for “Steak & A BJ” Day, which is on March 13. And NO, I’m not making that up… google it and thank some disc jockey for that one… but it’s real and they have websites dedicated to it!

So anyway, call me ‘The Grinch’ of the season if you must; I’m ok with that. That being said, I don’t begrudge those who really get into it their fun. What I’m NOT ok with is sites like this: Thoughtful.Co

This site? Screams ‘Gold Digger’ to me. Why??

1) Their target advertising demographic is actually WOMEN, not men… expecting they’ll pass it on to their guys.
2) You have to be APPROVED for membership; which I was, when I checked it out for research. Inside, it is flaunting $350 “gourmet” dinners at home and $1000+ flower arrangements for a year (3). That? Just seems excessive. I get that it’s meant to help those “poor unfortunate guys” who just don’t have a clue as to what to do for their partners and are bad at those ‘last-minute gifts’… but, still?
3) There was nothing that has shown up on their site that was less than several hundred dollars $$$$$$…. but, nothing that was WORTH even half of what was being charged. Not.Classy.

Whatever happened to the thoughtfelt card or movie & popcorn?? Even one of my favorite chick-blogs recommended leaving one of their blog submissions up to “help your guy buy you the right gift or flower arrangement this Valentine’s Day.” See, if I have to HELP my guy get me a gift that I’ll actually appreciate? Then, to me? It seems like it’s missing the point and maybe I need to spend some time meditating on the true meaning of gratitude.

Which leads me to wonder what this holiday is really all about. When I polled my friends, there seemed to be two distinct camps; those who felt like it was what we jokingly refer to as a “Hallmark Holiday” centered on commercialism (4) and those who felt like it was a day centered around showing that extra boost of thoughtfulness/romanticism for those you love. And in a brief, non-cynical moment?? I DO enjoy Valentine’s Day stuff with my girls… but, they’re pretty easy: they’re happy with about $10 worth of candy, a fun movie with Mom @ home and a cute card. Still, can’t help but wonder if I’m setting the stage for future boyfriends to gripe one day about their expectations… because, after all: “If my MOM can remember to do stuff for Valentine’s for me… why can’t YOU??”

So, to my Daughters’ future boyfriends?? I Apologize.

(1)Yes, I’m referring to WWII
(2)362 Because it’s somewhat a given you’ll get that attention on your birthday, anniversary, and Christmas.
(3)I put “gourmet” in quotes because anything that has something that looks like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese doesn’t seem really all that gourmet to me. Although, my guy? Really digs good mac ‘n’ cheese so… to each their own.
(4)Totally my camp, by the way. There is nearly $15 BILLION dollars spent annually on Valentine’s Day; over 250 MILLION cards are sent annually… but at least 10 Million will be ‘green’ and sent in e-cards.

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