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I'm just a girl in the world.. that kind of likes to write. Mom of 2 teen girls & work as Talent Attraction & Marketing professional. Oh, & I'm addicted to my phone, Social Media, HR/Talent Marketing & Caffeine... you can learn more about me at www.linkedin.com/in/theonecrystal

State of Mind

I’ve been on a bit of a writing holiday.  Well, the term ‘holiday’ implies that it was planned when the truth is that it was not.  The proper thing to say is that I’ve been buried in work – which is true, but that’s not a first & I’ve still managed to write.  The truth is that I’ve just had a bit of a writer’s block as I mull around various themes in my head.

I have a list a mile long of things I want to write about; but I keep getting stuck.  I think this is, among other things, due to the fact that for the first time in a long time I actually have thought about who might read it.

That sounds silly, because of course we WANT our writings to be read – it’s just previously I’ve not really cared much what people have thought about it one way or the other.  For the most part, I still don’t – but I have let the ghost of people past distract me a bit.  Thoughts of things said by an ex-boyfriend that thinks social is bad/drama as I’m being encouraged to write about dating again; a catty woman who has made a point of campaigning about how ‘unworthy’ I am & seemingly harmless talk from professional peers about how unpopular viewpoints put online can haunt our business potential.

To some extent, I realize it’s rubbish… the real issue isn’t the specific things said or the people who said them.  It’s more of a matter of… well… state of mind.  I used to laugh when people say what we allow ourselves to take in will affect what we put out – but, I guess to an extent it’s true.

I gained clarity around this issue this morning when my daughter came in, tearfully, to tell me that her boyfriend’s parents didn’t think she was “good enough” for their son.  My first thought was to do the “who do they think they are” thing; but what does that really do for anyone?  So, we talked about it & I asked her to ask her boyfriend to have his parents call me (1). My daughter asked why; I’m sure she was concerned I would give them the what for.

Not what I had planned.  I explained to her (2) that relationships? They come and go.  You can’t control what people think of you, either & trying to is useless.  What you can do, however, is be careful to not say things that are going to potentially cause harm to people’s self-esteem or make them question their worth.  Which, as a parent, I wanted to make sure wasn’t happening with my daughter in this situation.

I reminded her that she is kind, smart, classically beautiful – inside & out.  She is funny, witty, and has a heart the size of Montana when she chooses to share it.  That she was absolutely worthy of ANYONE she chose to spend time with; and that the reality is we’re all basically ‘worthy’ of one another.  There’s always a question of timing & fit; but it’s really rarely one of worth. 

I told her that while all those things were true; not everyone would be able to see all of it, not all the time.  People would misunderstand things she stood for or might find things she had interest in rather dull.  Some people, especially women, will pick on her at times or try to cut her down because of their own cattiness & insecurity.  That couldn’t be helped; but what could is how we choose to react to the situations we are faced with.  Do we take it in & hold onto it; letting it hinder or change us?  Or do we process it & let it go for what it is:  someone else’s issues… not inherently our own?

My daughter IS beautiful, smart, kind, and a blessing for anyone – she’s priceless – her worth as a person can’t be defined.  As I told her that; I was reminded the same holds true for me.  If some catty woman has decided to make it her crusade to cut me down with our peers because she is insecure?  Or some guy doesn’t get that social isn’t bad & my using it doesn’t make me weird?  Unless I choose to allow it to impede my progress in life; it’s their issue, not mine.

Seems that while I was trying to teach my daughter a little bit about life today; I was taught a lesson again myself.  Writer’s block? Gone.

(1) It did not go unnoticed that they are opting not to call; but left their number ‘if I felt like we really needed to talk.’  But, whatever… it is what it is, right?

(2) and ultimately her boyfriend whom I was sure was concerned that I’d say less than wonderful things about him to his parents – which, of course, I wouldn’t…

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3 Comments on “State of Mind”

  1. sweetopiagirl 03/04/2012 at 1:44 pm #

    Reblogged this on UNIQUE GREETING CAKES.

  2. Lisa Elliott Daniel 03/04/2012 at 9:44 pm #

    A wise woman’s state of mind, Crystal.Nice work.

    • TheOneCrystal 03/04/2012 at 9:55 pm #

      That’s an exceedingly kind compliment, Lisa. Thank you so much.

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